Bletch is the main antagonist of the 1989 New Zealand dark comedy puppet film Meet the Feebles directed by Peter Jackson.
He was performed by the late Peter Vee-Jones.
Personality[]
Bletch, at first, pretends to be caring and nice, but in reality, he is a cruel, merciless, selfish and perverted walrus. He is also murderous, as shown when he eats a fish named Guppy who tried to join the Feebles Variety Hour (but later puked him out, leaving him to die), and he killed F.W. Fly by ripping his wings off and flushing him down the toilet to drown for leaking Harry having a terminal sex disease (which turned out not to be fatal). He is also a con man pretending to love Heidi, but in reality, he dumps her because how revolting he thinks she looks, and he wants Samantha to be the star of the show. He also hates arachnids.
However, he does have an amicable relationship with his right-hand Trevor, who is loyal to Bletch to no end; and is shown to be on good terms with Arthur, treating him with relative kindness compared to his deplorable attitude towards the rest of his employees and business partners.
Bletch is also wary of what is put on his show and is adamant about not letting raunchy material or demographic-inappropriate content from being placed as it could throw the chances of The Feebles Variety Hour becoming a syndicated series success into non-existence. Along with it comes a fiercely protective attitude towards the future of his show, murdering anyone who either compromises it or tries to derail his employees' stardom as F.W. Fly found out the hard way and Sebastian almost did himself.
History[]
Bletch is a blue walrus who is a businessman manager who runs the show. He is Heidi the Hippo's boyfriend who decides to cheat on her by choosing Samantha as his mate. He has two minions, Trevor the Rat and Barry.
Bletch first appears in his office having sex with Samantha, but was interrupted by Heidi knocking on his door and forced to hide her when Heidi enters Bletch's office and tells him that Trevor insulted her. Bletch calms Heidi down, and then she left his office.
While Bletch was going on a golf course with his henchman, a fish named Guppy calls out to him and requests to join the Feebles. But Bletch, pretending to be interested in Guppy’s own act, lies to him that he has a cavity in a molar, then eats him up. While at the golf course, he makes a drug deal with Cedric and Louie. During Cedric’s turn for golf, Bletch was then forced to puke Guppy out, catching Cedric by surprise, but also annoyed at the loss of his turn. Guppy asked if he passed the audition, but died.
Later on, while watching Trevor’s latest porno film, he questions the rat about if people are interested in nasal sex, which the rat replies that it was a great fad. After the film, he orders Trevor to find another porno star because the public were tired of “big udders”.
After being chastised by Sebastian by overeating, Heidi runs to Bletch’s office, but soon discovers that Samantha was cheating Bletch. deals drugs with Cedric the Warthog and Louie. After they double-crossed Bletch to find out that the drugs were actually borax (which Dennis the Anteater became a victim when he sniffed up borax and died), he ordered his henchmen to liquidate Louie to death. Bletch, Trevor, and Barry set out to get the drugs at the harbor, where Cedric and his crab goons were waiting. While getting the drugs, they fight off the crab goons while Cedric pursues them. After they collected the drugs and killed the crabs and Cedric, they encounter a giant spider and bit Barry's head off, killing him. On their way back to the theater, Bletch and Trevor encounter Mr. Big, and Trevor took him out by driving Bletch's car into his mouth and exit out of his anus, killing him.
When Bletch and Trevor return to the theatre, they picked up a newspaper detailing the bad review of Harry’s sex disease, and set out to find the person responsible. As Bletch and Sebastian watch Heidi’s Garden of Love segment, Bletch and Trevor find F.W. Fly. They both lure the fly into the bathroom, where Bletch grabs F.W. Fly, berating at him for telling stories again. He rips the fly’s wings apart, and flushes him down the toilet, leaving him to drown.
While Bletch was celebrating in his office with champagne, he encounters Heidi, sitting in one of his chairs. She congratulated Bletch that the show was a wonderful success. She tries to seduce him by stripping her clothes off and kiss him, but Bletch snaps and pushes her away, stating how revolting she looked, as well as calling her fat and smelled bad. Bletch admits to have groomed Heidi and tells her that she is through with the Feebles and intends to replace her with Samantha as the star of the show, then finally kicks her out of his office, leaving her sobbing.
While Bletch watches the rest of the show, he is horrified to see Sebastian performing his song, “Sodemy”, which disgusts him and the audience. Figuring that thanks to his insubordinate director the chances of the show being made into a syndicated series are gone, he orders Trevor to eliminate that “fudge-packer” as revenge. Before anything else can come pass, he is shocked to see Heidi go on a machine gun-wielding rampage, killing the majority of the members of the Feebles troupe, with the audience running away in terror. When Heidi corners Bletch, he attempts to tell Heidi to surrender the gun, only to be shot in the chest with a few bullets, bringing him down, and lands on the ground, badly injured. Bletch weakly replies that he still loves Heidi, making her drop the gun, only for it to be a trick to cause her to drop her guard and letting Trevor shoot her on the shoulder to down her. Bletch demands Trevor to kill her, only for Robert to interfere and tackle Trevor as revenge for what he did to Lucille. After Heidi kills Trevor, Bletch lunges at her, only to be caught off guard by Heidi quickly putting her gun in his mouth, and his brains got blown out, killing him for good. Then Heidi snaps back into reality and surrenders the gun, realizing she just killed her love and countless innocents, then with help from Arthur as one last request before she gives herself over to the police she sadly sings a reprise of Garden of Love before being taken away by the authorities.
With the surviving Feebles retiring, Bletch's dreams of his syndicated series were completely dashed away, while Heidi was able to reform and live a happy peaceful life, ending Bletch's legacy of cruelty for good.